Issue #3 (Exit stage left…wing)


I have to begin by saying thanks to all of you that have read, shared and are continuing to indulge me in my little rants.
I’m totally awed, stunned and thankful.
The second post had nearly 1500 hits in one day! (compared to just over a hundred on the first post, that’s pretty amazing)
Thank you also for all the wonderful emails and comments. I’m truly humbled.
URGE you to comment. Our collective thoughts and rantings may become a voice loud enough to perhaps make us heard.
And PLEASE feel free to bitch when you don’t agree. This is, after all, about “other comments”, not just mine.

I’ve attached social media links. Do with them as you will.

Now, let’s party like it’s 1999…

In my travels today, donning my pajamas and robe,(I rarely get dressed when I don’t have to) I had many wonderful discussions regarding the current race for the presidency. (is it really a race?)
It’s odd to me to call it a race, because though it does have a start and an end, it has a definite end date, not a finish line crossed by who gets there first, right?
It’s a contest. And as we have discussed, not one we, necessarily, in this by and for the people country, get to declare the winner with our registered opinions, i.e. our votes.
Sorry, I’m being semantic…

One of the discussions today, actually my first, was at the convenient convenience store down the road.
Post my morning constitutional, I arrived in my pajamas and robe just after setting my coffee to brew at home, to fetch a paper and a pack of smokes.

When I laid the paper on the counter, the clerk, who I see on a regular basis, bopped over in time to the hip-hop music emanating from his little Bluetooth speaker behind the counter, grabbed my smokes and asked me how my morning was going.
I love this kid. He’s 23 years old, lives with his girlfriend, works 5-6 days a week as an assistant manager, always smiling, always wearing a tie and a ball cap high on his head tilted to one side. You know the guy, right?

Anyway, I tell him it’s too early to tell. He smiles, points to a headline on the front page of the paper and asks, “What do you think of this?”
I look down and it’s a Bernie Sanders headline that asks, “Is Bernie done?”
I chuckled. (he knows nothing of this blog, yet.)
I said, “Ya know, this shit has me rubber neckin’ like it’s a big fucking crash. It’s not a run for the seat, it’s a fucking train wreck.”

The update, if that’s what you want call it, is pointing to the fact that Bernie should be done. (most of us have known this for a while now) He should be withdrawing from the campaign, backing Hillary as he said he would do in the beginning should his run turn into the sludging trod it is, going home to Vermont, eating some Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food and crying on his wife’s already soggy shoulder.
(note: my oldest daughter, a huge Bernie supporter, has “unfriended” me on Facebook)

This coming Tuesday will be the final nail in the coffin. (god, I hope he doesn’t die. I would feel like shit for that one)

There are 5 primaries happening Tuesday and Bernie is behind Hillary by a huge margin. After losing in New York earlier this week, a victory he desperately needed, his little coven is at another point of reevaluation.

Remember he said he would not stoop to mudslinging in the beginning, fell behind, (actually was never ahead) began slinging mud, fell further behind and now needs to re-reevaluate? Umm, Bern, old buddy, when are you going to stop beating that dead horse?

NPR, one of my favorite news sources, today posted the numbers I was curious to read. (I feed off of NPR, BBC, Al Jazeera, and the A.P…they’re the least biased I can find. We will always have to filter and form our own opinions. It’s what makes “other comments” important to me)

Hillary has more than double the delegate pledges than Obama ever had in their “run”.
Bernie has to win by at least 20 points in ALL the remaining “contests” to even stay in the game, and the independents aren’t allowed to vote. Wasted votes anyway. Insert Ralph Nader here and Bernie’s confused stance on himself not being like him. This shit is funny:

It’s just NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. It’s pretty simple fucking math; not calculus…

As of today Hillary has 1428 delegate pledges and 513 super delegates. Bernie has 1153 delegate pledges and 38 supers. Granted supers can change their minds, but they rarely every go against the popular pledges.

Bernie says, “Poor people don’t vote…That’s just a fact.”
Straw grasping muthafucka! What? Tell me you’re joking?!?!?!?

Of course they do you fucking asshole! I’m one of them!
Your “tax-bullshit-reform” and it’s subsequent crush on the lower class (I so resent that fucking term) is the reason you don’t have “the poor” in your corner.

In urgence from his campaign manager and his family, Donald Trump
was asked to tone it down and “act” more presidential. He acquiesced. At least he said he would. He hasn’t a clue what that means.
The kind and gentler, more presidential Trump just can’t shut his fucking mouth. He needs a fleet of trucks to tote his bloated ego from rally to rally.

He attacked John Kasich because he couldn’t pronounce his name. “Can we ask him to change the spelling of his name? Are we allowed to do that? “Aren’t you in a campaign with him as part of your opposition? Perhaps you should have yourself informed. (by the way, it’s kas-ick)

This tells us all that this arrogant douchebag isn’t even close to paying attention. He truly believes he’s in this circus all by himself.

If you don’t know who and what you’re up against, how can you possibly run our country, fucknut? Are you going to Homer Simpson us with looking at the globe and chuckling out, “You are gay” for Uruguay? Will Niger become nigger? You are simply a tumor. All we have to do is see a “doctor” and have you removed. You’re definitely benign.

(Actual size shown: “My wiener is this big!”)

In his tamed self-righteousness, he called Kasich and Cruz “one and a half men”, quickly rephrased to bellow, while wearing a red trucker hat, (maybe sponsored by the freight company that he  hired to tote his ego and hairspray) “Maybe just one! A half and a half! They should both just get out!” He states that he’ll become “more presidential later.”

Oh Donald, please, go have sex with yourself. You will only the be the president of your own fan club.
Have I mentioned that I hate your face? And hair?

Cruz and Kasich are fighting a losing battle with each other.  Like coming in second and third on Jeopardy and ignoring the winner. Let me add here that I DO NOT ENDORSE CRUZ, I simply stated that he is the most qualified candidate. I certainly don’t support his views on the LGBT issues and bathroom policy. No one is suggesting, as far as I know, that urinals be added to ladies rooms or tampon dispensers in men’s rooms. (though both may be useful)

As I stated before, one of them should turn tail and run so the other has a broader appeal, a chance to win the vote. No matter really. Alas, my comment here is the sad but true; Donald will win the republican nomination.

The Republican numbers…
Oddly, the rules have changed a bit in the GOP and super delegates can’t change their minds and must vote for the candidate their state delegates have pledged. It more or less erases the supers in the context used by the dems.
Here’s that breakdown as of today…
Trump has 845 delegate pledges, Cruz has 559 and Kasich with 148.
The math isn’t difficult here either unless,of course you’re giving Trump the abacus…

The real math supports my prediction of Hillary being the victor, and thus our new Prez.

Fuck, she could release porn from her college days, or God forbid, current video bangs, and still come out ahead. (Ugh. Leave the pun where it lies! Move along people! You’re disgusting! Secretly, that’s why I love ya. Ha!)


Trump’s total pledges: 845
Hillary’s total pledges: 1941

(1941-great movie! I miss John Belushi. He was funny on purpose. He always had my vote,)

Say the foundation of your house is cracked and crumbling, what do you do? Do you try to put a new roof on to fix it? Good luck with that.
I actually believe that a complete GOVERNMENT REFORM is needed. It’s our only way out.

It’s been four days since Prince died. Have any of our presidential hopefuls weighed in?

Currently, I’m dressed as a mourning catholic wife clad in a black dress and veil, candles burning on the altar and pipe organ renditions of Purple Rain are playing in the background as I write to you in hopes you’ll join me. Not only in my rant, but in my sorrow. (though, I never meant to cause you any). Another genius musician has left us with fucking Donald Trump still breathing.

Next up: We’ll discuss welfare reform, immigration, deportation and eugenics. Not mutually exclusive…

Issue #2 (more on issue #1. Sorry)

I do not intend for this blog to be one of pure political rant, commentary or satire, I swear!
I’m days behind on this post because I changed my mind of ranting on my feelings about Portland-Fucking-Oregon, at least for now, because the current presidential campaign is still sticking in my crawl.
We’ve got a race that seems so comical that it could be depicted in Mad Magazine.
The funniest thing about it all, in that seriously unfunny way, is that it’s all really happening.
Everyone has crossed the line of appropriate, attacked one another in the media and the hoi polloi has spoken.
According to an NBC news article yesterday, only 6% of the American public trusts our government and the media overall.
More democrats than republicans. Surprised?
I find it interesting that this leaves 94% of the U.S. public showing signs of intelligent life. Whodathunk?
Our candidates are walking further and further away from issues and topics that matter to basically slander each other at rallies and during press, radio and T.V. interviews.
Do you give a shit if Hillary has big money fundraisers? She claims she is distributing the money to others in the democratic party. I trust her just as much as any other politician to tell me the truth. Who the fuck cares?!?!?
Oh yeah, little Bernie. Why should you care? If it really bugs you ask for more than $27, dumbass! And why would your supporters throw dollar bills at Hillary’s motorcade? This seems more than just stupid. It’s wasted money. You could have made some nice fliers with that thousand bucks, Bernie. Ah well, just another missed opportunity.
Face it, “Bern”ing man, a run for the presidency is big business. Huge! Mega-Fucking-Huge! Godzilla-esque!
Staggering away from the things that actually matter to sling mud seems, to me anyway, counter-intuitive.
We, the constituents, have a waning interest in our future president’s diggings at the opposing side on a personal level. We want to be satisfied that they know what the hell they are talking about. Unfortunately, we aren’t.
Trump makes me dizzy, but I’m glad to know he went to 7-11 rather than be an unhinged American on 9/11. What? He seriously spoke about the tragic events of September 11th, 2001 referring to it as 7-11.
I truly hate that guy. Truly.
I was speaking with a neighbor this afternoon about the race for the seat, and he told me he was going to vote for Trump solely based on the fact that he isn’t a career politician.
Well that’s the logic that is Donald Trump. (rather the lack thereof)
Fortunately, like his hair, Donald’s popularity is receding.
Our biggest remaining problem where he is concerned are his competitors. Though both are gaining ground they are splitting the votes that would otherwise kick Trump from the top of the steaming heap of shit this electoral bid has become.
Should Kasich step out of the way I’m positive Cruz would stomp to the top of the pile of shit and knock Trump off. Kinda like a game of King of the Mountain, but with higher stakes.
Another, smaller, but no less important obstacle, is time. As we get closer to the November primaries the less time the opposition has to pick up the needed vote. Underdogs can win! Just look at Rocky Balboa! He was on time!To further expound on the fact that our votes really don’t matter and the underdog viability…
In the New York primaries this Tuesday, Cruz was ahead of Kasich in popular vote yet Kasich walked away the victor by grabbing more delegates. Bullshit?
More (predictable) bullshit is Trump taking the state.
I do love New York’s U.S. Representative, THE Peter King (I love that he chose to keep the name) stating that he would take cyanide should Cruz win the nomination for republican party. (please, please, please let Cruz win if for no other reason)
I’m going to jab at Bernie for a minute here…
His promise to boost the economy by way of “tax reform” is of course to be supplemented by further taxing us on income. But not taking into account that higher tier incomes should be taxed a little heavier. His proposal is a flat increase of 2.2% straight across the board, and when I say straight across the board, I mean everyone from the poor (tentatively excluding, yet to be determined, families, FAMILIES, with a combined income of $28,800 or less) to the stinking rich. This would also require employers to pay a 6.2% tax on each employee to subsidize the then defunct healthcare benefits. If such a thing were to happen we would certainly “Feel the Bern.”
(Kinda like the burning you feel during the morning piss following a night with the stranger that left you a special little gift of gonorrhea, but without the fun of the of the romp.)
This increase would help to pay for the truly confusing reform that will cost tax payers 1.7 trillion, but with a national debt of nearly 22 trillion, which will undoubtedly be 23 trillion by the time I’m done typing this, what difference does it make? (take a look at this debt counter It is truly astounding!
Further under this aside…Under the reign of Obama, government spending and loan accrual is tallying at a rate of roughly $3 billion per minute, increasing the national debt by over 70% during his administration. That’s not the worst percentage of a president, but is, by far, the largest dollar amount increase of all time. Just look at the counter. He isn’t close to finished.
This week we learned that, thankfully, Obamacare is imploding. Unitedhealth, the nations largest healthcare provider announced they are bailing (in most markets) on the failed plan that has literally millions of Americans being penalized for not being able to afford the affordable healthcare. Oxymoron? Can everyone say jumbo shrimp?
I could honestly give a shit that these insurance companies are feeling the strain of the lessened financial gains in their sanctioned rapefest of the American public, but I do like the fact that the entire infrastructure is falling in and down. Imploding.
This will spark more fires under the “act” to act and the subsequent results will be its demise.
So where does this leave us? Where will be the fate of the American healthcare system? Why hasn’t anyone chimed in on the fact that the easy logical fix is to simply put a cap on the pharm-cos and insurance companies thus creating something along the lines of affordable and then simply give us the choice again? Cruz is headed in this direction in a roundabout way, but the facts are going to detail the outcome. Wealthy folks are out of touch with the public that lives paycheck to paycheck. I don’t believe that any of our politicians involved in this race have a clue what it’s like to struggle financially. Our fucking government considers our net earnings “expendable income!”  Like we have no other obligations with that money. No rent of mortgage. No utility or phone bills, car payments and the like. So naturally we have tons of cash to spend on healthcare for ourselves and families. This is a serious point of contention for me and the answer just seems obvious. The problem here is that insurance and pharmaceutical companies are huge corporations that, without question, are big players in the corporate government of America.
Do we need healthcare reform? Duh.
Do we need tax reform? Duh.
How will this ever happen? Easy. Government reform.
Will this ever happen? Easy. No. It’s just too far gone, and as has been iterated here, our votes don’t count.
So next we see…
It’s going to make no difference in who wins the republican nomination. None.
Without the use of my crystal ball, I can pass on this little tidbit of the future of our country.
Hillary Clinton will be our next President Elect. Period.
In the words of the greatest pro wrestler of all time, Ric Flair, “Like it, love it hate it, get used to it. Whooo!”
So my final issue is this…
Why aren’t these presidential hopefuls concentrating on things that really matter?
Do they know that Guns and Roses has reformed to fill their empty bank accounts?
Do they know that the iconic AC/DC has been fraught with one disappointing and devastating loss after another? Phil Rudd on meth and trying to have someone killed. Malcolm has dementia. Brian Johnson lost his hearing, ferfucksake! And now they have installed the younger Young brother to fill Malcolm’s unfillable shoes and Axl Rose is going to sing in Brian’s place!WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!
Can you imagine what that’s going to be like? Fucking Axl caterwauling with his demonstrative swaying snake-like swagger singing Back in Black with that annoying whine and the fucking aye-yie-yie. Please don’t make guns illegal yet.

So, this diatribe has to wind down now. My new lady friend has just arrived, I’ve lit the charcoal, opened a nice bottle of wine for her and I need to pay attention to things other than politics.

“What a world! What a world!”
Have your people call my people and we’ll do lunch. Thanks for reading…


State of the Union a.k.a. Issue #1 (I love double entandres)

*Disclaimer: The federal government strictly prohibits, well, almost everything. The views and opinions expressed in this work directly reflect all those involved in it’s publication and are agreed upon by the producer and affiliates of the ranting author.

Before I get started let me take a moment to thank Katie at GoDaddy for her patience and help to get this site set-up. She totally rocks.

Issue 1:

As we near the end of one of the worst presidential administrations in history we are entering the debacle of debates to potentially lead to not only one of the most controversial elections in the history of the country, but an unintentional satirical look into the heart of America.

I will admit that in the election of 2008 that Obama got my vote. It wasn’t for his platform, which just like most president’s since I have been alive, was filled with empty promises and outright lies. It was because it gave the opportunity to break down a barrier. A black man (well, mostly black) took the Commander in Chief seat.
Yay, whoohoo, yipee and good for rebutting the overall picture that paints most of America as racist rednecks waiting on the south to rise again. (This isn’t to disregard the rebel flag wavers that really are. My sister lives directly next door to one. But, they are more a minority than the black lives matter folk who really have bags of chips on their shoulders. Subsequently, shouldn’t all lives matter?)

So here we are again faced with another potential barrier breaking election. A woman in the driver’s seat.

Hillary Clinton, I’m sure, by now has gone through menopause, so we can rule out the madness that accompanies the 28 days not associated with drug and alcohol rehab?

I have to say here that despite her known digressions, she was a large part of Bill’s administration. And, despite his transgressions ; a questionable trade agreement and a cigar and blowjob incident or two, he had our country in the best economical and world standing in history. We had no deficit, other countries owed us money, we were more respected than feared on a global level and we, by and large, liked the guy.
(Hell, I would have given to a fund to get him a blowjob and Cohiba a day to keep up the good work!)

Anyway, do I agree with Hillary’s platform? Not in it’s entirety, but she has some good points. But…

Hillary wants to uphold the (un)“Affordable Healthcare Act”.
Hey Hillary, let’s trade bank accounts for a year.
Obama’s lame-ass bullshit “Affordable Healthcare Act”offered me this…
$389 a month for basic shitty coverage with high deductibles. Affordable my ass!
What was my penalty for being too broke? A $966 fine on my tax filing! Eat a Dick! Actually, Eat a Bag of Dicks!
And here’s the real kick in the balls…
If I were an illegal immigrant my benefits are paid in full by our government. WTF?!?!?!

Just more keeping in line with Obama. I’m sorry (not), I just don’t agree with the idea 0f the so called reform. Should this reform be to continue allowing illegal immigrants to work without paying taxes, send money to their families in Mexico and get free healthcare while they’re here, and then aid them further in the depletion of our own benefits and tax dollars while they go through the process of citizenship? You know, the step they were supposed to take before entering the country? Can we at least make a basic command of the English language a requirement? as it stands it’s basically condoned and rewarded robbery. 
Fuck You! You lost my vote. (Just kidding. You never had it.)

Donald Fucking Trump…

What can you say about a guy that spends more money on hairspray a year than I make?
There’s actually a lot to say, but for the sake of curbing an encyclopedic rant, I’ll just brief the highlights.
(I really want to like you, Donald, for real, but I hate your face. AND your ridiculous hair. I’m sure you must have a good quality, maybe two, but I can’t get past the fact that I hate your face. And hair.)

I agree with some of what he says. I really do. But, he is an idiot and volleys his stances based on where he is campaigning.

His statement is to do away with Obama’s bullshit “act” and find something better and more affordable. I like that idea. A lot. But what is that looking like, Sir Aquanet?

“Let’s build a wall!” yells the ridiculous comb over clown.
Yeah! Let’s! We can get Pink Floyd back together, have them perform the album in its entirety and then tear the fucker down. Dumbass.

Enough on him. I am sitting here getting pissed just thinking of his idiocy.

Bernie Sanders…

He’s a cute little guy.
I also like some of what he says. I love his catchy little phrases to get the crowd hyped up. And let’s not forget the cutest campaign moment of all time; the little bird landing on the podium in Portland Fucking Oregon.

“…a right, not a privilege.” Agreed. But Bernie, how do we proceed? Hmmm?

“Let’s let everybody in. C’mon folks. The more the merrier.”
Liberal Pussy.

The biggest problem,though is he has no answers to his proposals other than to raise taxes, impose new taxes and tax taxes with more taxes. Interesting plan now that the middle class has all but disappeared in the tax heavy U.S. of A.

I think a vote cast his way is like the olden days of voting for Ralph Nader. Wasted.

John Kasich…

I’m not going to spend any time on this idiot. His platform is to just continue what Obama has started and hide behind religion for the answers he doesn’t have.

This brings me to who I consider the only real qualified politician in the race.

Ted Cruz…

A mistress or two? Eh. By the looks of him, he’d better get it while he can.
Just run the country like Billy did. I don’t care where you put your wiener.

Yay! Repeal the stupid fucking healthcare act with an answer.
In short, a commonsense reform giving people a choice. A real choice with the ability to choose when, what and who. Disempowering the government on the issue. (returning) Power to the people!

His wall idea, for whatever reason, makes more sense. Perhaps it’s all the details of the framing, support and operations. But he forgot to include the motion activated Gatling guns. And, I still want Pink Floyd to play before we tear it down.
The rest of his stance on immigration, legal and illegal, I agree with wholeheartedly.

There are tons of other issues impossible to cover here. (It’s a blog not a book)
But if you take the time to actually look at each candidates platforms in depth rather than what’s reported on by the biased media, you can, hopefully, make an informed choice even though it doesn’t matter.

Remember popular vote doesn’t mean shit. The electoral college elects the president. Delegates from each state who aren’t voting with a conscience. They’re going to vote with their agenda and what the candidate has promised them. And the states with the most electoral votes? California, New York and Texas. Ugh. Go hairspray! Isn’t that murdering the ozone?

Let’s face it, they’re all fucking liars, and sadly our country is run by corporations. They grease the palms of the politicians who in turn do their bidding. YOU and I know it’s the truth.

What can we do?

In the immortal words of the great and powerful (Oz)zy Osbourne, “Let’s Start a Riot!”