The Future…

let’s skip a rock a year ahead-ripples in the water

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first, we have a former first lady as the first woman to sit behind the desk in the oval office. (this excludes monica lewinsky as she was actually under the desk)-and we have the first lady of the first black president sitting in the senate- coincidence?-there’s no such thing

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walls are being broken down-or to use current parlance- “glass ceilings are being broken”-no walls are being built to keep people out- no banning of people-no creating division between citizens by our federal government, mr trump-today there are black folk and women in the highest seats of power in the land- they are in control of our present-our future-our children’s future

this year from today we see an ebb in racism-feminist movements-protests and people are starting to co-exist as people-be you gay-lesbian-transgender or simply check the box as “other”

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obamacare is on life support but not expected to pull through

national spending still follows the same path up the mountain of debt-do we actually care at this point?-it’s like monopoly money at this point

oil prices still fluctuate-but are doing so “stably” and we’re not paying five bucks a gallon which was sure to happen had the doink taken office

our troops are slowly but surely leaving afghanistan and iraq-of course our government is paying to rebuild the countries we have warred on needlessly for the last billion fucking years-we can thank the beedy-eyed bush jr (i’ve never understood that guy and I hate his face)

isis (isil) has all but been blown to shit-baby huey, the turd in north korea, is on the verge of being flushed away since putin has lost power-he’s running scared from the NATO alliance and has returned to simply torturing his own people

we are seemingly closing in on peace yet all the big problems still exist-tension-new problems are being built

what we had hoped for in the white house with Hills in the seat (the aid of hubbie bill) has been doused-bill’s parkinson’s disease has turned him into little more than a six foot vibrator-though hills is happy, our economy suffers

trump is more (in)famous than ever-he cries to the media that he wanted to shut down by “altering” the 1st amendment because he was “cheated”

he’s filed bankruptcy two more times-is being sued by nearly everyone that was involved in his atrocity of a campaign-employees of his businesses following his bankrupt bailouts-even the dumb fucking retards that voted for him

state and local governments burgeon with corruption because, still, no one is paying attention-hyper ignorance by the general public and the purposeful lack of an actual checks and balance system are the blind eyes blinders

of course, tax dollars are still diverted for personal and political gain, and the homeless are on the verge of becoming a new race of people

good news is…

i’ve been elected mayor of portland-fucking-oregon!-the nation’s capital of passiveness and sympathy-i’ve declared a sort of marshal law and have ordered the police force to “terminate” the homeless camps-the fucking tofu smokers have sit-ins in front of city hall and I invite friends to the roof to drink whiskey and throw BZ and tear gas (the occasional molotav cocktail or small pox blanket) and watch as they start tearing each other apart and rip each others flesh from their bones with their teeth-it’s my kind benevolence that gives me the warm feeling of doing them the service of putting protein into their diets-i’m a humanitarian you see (keep this under your hat-no one knows nor should they-humanitarian, remember?)

though i’m seen as controversial, (as always, right?) the entire country has taken notice-ptown has a near zero crime rate-one of the lowest, and still dropping, homeless populations-there’s a new found-the jails are nearly empty-a tranquility resembling the good old days when you could go to sleep without even locking your doors is settling in-the town that has the tagline “the city that works” is actually working -fear schmear-if you’re not a fucking douchebag you have nothing to worry about

hills requests meeting that i call luncheons-she wants to discuss alternate policies I should consider-i point to detroit and inner city chicago-i tell her that will never happen here-i tell her strength and power are what matters in governing-that reform isn’t anarchy-it’s necessary-results aren’t polls-results come from action

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my next order of business is the welfare system-my peaceful reform-i describe to hills my plan to put these pieces of garbage to work or out of business-i tell her that just because it’s a federal program that it has no statues governing what a local level can restrict or demand-i call it “creative diversion”-outreach programs will all but cease-i’ll divert tax dollars into investigations to prove or disprove eligibility-even if hills still wants them to collect my staff will have created a “no buy” list that will be uploaded to all retailers in city limits-unemployment will be employment and not just some visit to a workforce appointment and an online claim system-the unemployed will be required to show up daily to labor ready (daily job) roll calls at six fucking a.m. or their benefits will cease-the capable will work for a living-period

child care will be provisionally free-the eligible and qualified unemployed will run daycare centers-education will be mandatory-homelessness by choice will be prosecute-able and will not lead to the jail’s kindness of “three hots and a cot”-they will either be exiled or ordered to join the rank and file of the productive public under close supervision-lots of fucking jobs will be create using the same funds available that previously paid the lazy pieces of shit to be lazy

“keep portland weird” will have a new connotation-it’s clean-livable-affordable-free of sympathy for those that prey on it-the weirdness will be that it’s working

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i tell hills i will sit in her chair soon-she hadn’t had any competition for the race-trump is a known idiot-a racist-a misogynist and he is an idiot (did I mention he is an idiot?)

i tell her that my agenda is simple-do what is necessary and not just play to the right-leaning politically correct bullshit-that’s what has gotten us where we are-just solve the fucking problems-i don’t give a shit what anyone’s life choices are-just don’t be a fucking douche-be productive-self supporting and respectful

of course hills thinks i should be imprisoned (at least that’s her public opinion)-my “delicate approach” leaves her with nothing to do but sit with her hands in her lap-smiling because she knows i’m right?

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is she going to start emailing again?-fer sure-it’s her thing

one more year has passed and the new york times prints an editorial piece declaring portland-fucking-oregon the greatest city in the nation-stating perhaps in the history of the world

i’m elected to the senate as a seat was vacated due to a suspicious death of the person sitting that i had nothing to do with-really-it was the nations biggest landslide victory ever so i throw my name in the hat for the presidency next term-HA!

for real-look at the actual state of the union present day-tomorrow-keep watching as little or nothing actually changes-the real good news is that trump can’t win-we aren’t currently facing the apocalypse and beer still tastes good

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if there’s a moral to this story-or anything to gain from it-it may be this…

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we only sorta have our constitutional rights today-baring arms is nearly strictly prohibited-free speech, due to the ever growing annoyance of the politically correct becoming broader and broader in scope-i can’t fucking keep up- you can’t say midget?-african american?-fershitsake, some states are putting into effect the p.c. madness to a painful point where teachers can’t call students boys and girls due to the transgender controversy-what?-really?-why? couple that with the further corruption of attorneys and politicians raping the shit out of the constitution and we have the need for an english to politically correct dictionary-it’s starting to look like a david lynch created whorehouse movie where nothing makes any sense until you wake up tied to a bed with a frothing prostitute over you with a sponge and a chainsaw and then it doesn’t make any fucking sense-the difference between shit and a shit sandwich is merely two pieces of bread-right?-huh?-exactly

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our choice for president does matter-but it matters less than our choices in the towns we live in-local governments are where the changes that matter most will be made-the ones that truly effect what’s coming next on a federal level

there were 13 states when the constitution was penned (incidentally it’s the shortest document ever written to establish a standing government)-there were 4 million people total in those 13 states-everyone was interested and everyone’s voice was heard-a government for and by the people

it’s the lack of attention by most current adults today-the lack of education and care to our children-the progressive attitude attendants (meaning pussies)-the self-centered-self-serving majority that are ruining our country

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the problems really can’t be blamed on our government because we aren’t governing it anymore-WE allowed this to happen-the federal politicians are greedy cocksuckers that count on us not to pay attention

it’s like leaving your wallet in a bar-you deserve to lose your money and your license-dumbass



Before we get rolling here I need to set the record straight on my stance in this presidential election.

In my previous post I gave a brief breakdown of the conventions and some folks thought me to be a Hillary supporter after reading.

I had mentioned in posts prior that I can’t support either her or the orange ape. The last entry was merely my take on the impressions made regarding the conventions. And let’s face it, the DNC kicked ass and left us with a rose covered pile of shit, whereas the GOP spewed shit and left us with a shit covered pile of shit.

That being said, I want to take a few observations out for a test drive regarding the republican nominee for our next president…

Donald-Fucking-Trump. It almost says it all, right? End of post.

(It would be awesome if we could file a class(less) action law suit against this dumbass.)

He is the walking definition of pejorative. In less than 20 days after his acceptance speech at the GOP convention he has taken his campaign into the new depths of dung. Even in the wake of all the controversies surrounding the DNC, more emails and Hills “short-circuiting” comment, Trump has plunged himself so deep that roto rooter won’t be able to rescue him.

(a jurassic pile)

He is so lost. Literally lost. He can’t keep track of lies, geography, who he disagrees with or where his wife is from. Maybe he can claim Alzheimer’s?

Here is some of my favorite stuff from the past two weeks.

Melania’s Gap…

Melania of Slovenia isn’t sure if she misrepresented herself. (lied) She is just a poor dumb model, right? How did she immigrate to the US?

Visa schmeeza. I barely recognized her in the nude erotic lesbian pictures taken in 1995 because she hadn’t had her head and body replaced with plastic yet. Not because she hadn’t legally immigrated until 1996.

(pretty hot, though, huh?)

She isn’t too clear on the details of her life prior to her Trumpessness, or perhaps it’s just been wrongly portrayed by the media? Trump would certainly want us to believe that, but now there is the investigation into the matter.

The story unfolds post her partially plagiarized convention speech. She claimed how she would never break a law and blah, blah, fucking blah. Questions arise when pictures (purposely) pop up and the allegations start rolling in.

Allegations? Now it’s very clear that this is just another uh-oh in the Trump shit storm. The obvious, from her statements of going back and forth from Slovenia and the US every three months to renew her visa tells the story of a person in possession of B-1 or B-2 visitor’s visa, not the H-1B work visa that wouldn’t require renewal every three months.

(does this look familiar, Mel? likely not)

Newt-Fucking-Gingrich. One of the hugest assholes to ever suck oxygen and expel methane, stated in question, “This is the only immigrant in America you’re worried about. I think it’s amazing that the one person you decide to pick on happens to be the wife of Donald Trump.”  Uh, have you been paying attention you pretentious gasbag? Fuckface von Clownstick has based nearly all of his campaign ranting rhetoric on illegal immigration! Geez…

Trump says wifey-pooh will hold a press conference in the next couple of weeks (once they get their story in order) to address this “controversy.”

Melania gives bad oral…

(ok, you have to actually open your mouth, honey)

In regards to her plagiarized speech at the convention where she quotes Michelle Obama’s 2008 DNC convention speech, there was no one in the Trump camp to be fired. Perhaps literally. The news of the supposed speech writer, Meredith McIver, having her Twitter account suspended for not being a real person. We know that Donald has had a past of pretending to be other people to the press via phone interviews posing as his own press agent. But alas, McIver is a real person and has taken the blame as the plagiarizer , though claims to have never had a Twitter account. (methinks this may be true, but my money says someone in the Trump camp made one with her name attached. Donald?) On a side note, she co-wrote some of Trump’s books. Once he was questioned on the exaggeration of his loses by billions of dollars to make his comeback look better and he admitted to it, but of course, placed the blame elsewhere; “probably Meredith McIver.”

Funny Money…

Trump claimed to have watched a video. “A tape was made, you saw that, with the airplane coming in, nice plane. The airplane coming in and the money coming off,” Trump told supporters during a rally in Portland, Maine.

“That was given to us, has to be, by the Iranians. And you know why the tape was given to us? They want to embarrass our country, embarrass our president.” (This was the second time he told this lie in a week. Is no one paying attention?)

Friday Tweet: 

(Iran. Geneva. What’s the difference? $400 million in green bills. 4 hostages. They all look alike to me. Why apologize?)

I recall another video he watched. You remember the one that no one else saw either? The one with Muslims cheering at ground zero after the planes flew into the twin towers?

Speaking of Muslims…

“Many people are saying”…

Why the fuck does he keep saying that?!?!?!? Who are they and why are they only talking to him? Fuck. I grit my teeth at the sound of his fucking voice.

Anyway, there’s the matter of the Muslim parents of an American soldier that was killed by a suicide bomber in Iraq and the orange idiot’s attack on them.

Khizr and Ghazala Khan appeared at the DNC in opposition of Trump’s stupid slanderous bigoted remarks against the Muslim community.

I have to say I loved the part where Mr. Khan pulled his copy of the constitution from his pocket and gave “The Donald” the hi-ho fuck yo!

The thin-skinned king of comb over logged into his Twitter account and moaned about how unfair it was to him. He stated Mr. Khan had “viciously attacked” him. Khan had “no right” to question his knowledge of the constitution. (can I? because I’m willing to bet he hadn’t read it/had someone brief him on it, until afterwards)

He went on to imply that Mr. Khan had forbidden his wife to speak, again poking at religion. And again, why would he apologize? This is in line with his personified racism and his inability to withstand criticism. This is very reminiscent of his attack on the federal judge that Trump said wasn’t qualified due to Mexican heritage, and then he, Trump, made fun of a disabled reporter.

(pure gold)

Cry baby…

During a rally last week, Trump, while boring the hell out of people with his moving his lips and sound coming out thing, a baby cried. He seemed to try to play to the public and tell her it was fine; “I love babies. I hear that baby cry, I like it…” only to, minutes later, basically kick mom and baby out, and then proceed to make a joke at mom’s expense; “Actually I was only kidding, you can get the baby out of here,” he said to laughs. “I think she really believed me that I love having a baby crying while I’m speaking. That’s OK. People don’t understand. That’s OK.”

Kinda the old politician rule switch-a-roo. Ya know, shake hands and kiss babies to kiss hands and shake babies.

Oops, I fucked up REALLY BIG…

A call for the 2nd ammenders? “Hillary wants to abolish, essentially abolish, the 2nd amendment. By the way, if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although the 2nd amendment people, maybe there is. I don’t know. (you never know do you, fucktard?) The Trump camp instantly went to work trying to interpret yet another incendiary remark claiming he was talking about “unification” and not “assassination.”

I’m all in for the right to bear arms, but aim your guns in the “right” direction. (uh-oh…did i just make an incendiary remark, too?)

Have a coke and a smile…

The sultan of slur finally tweeted something I may actually pay attention to, “I have never seen a thin person drinking a diet coke.” Hmmm.

In the wake of all his new bullshit, his advisers telling him to shut the fuck up, promising his family he would “act” more presidential and the obvious fact that he doesn’t pay attention to the polls that he is woefully waning in, he has this to say…

“Why would I tone it down? I’m winning.”

In a sad, sad era, we have Justin Bieber turning down $5 million to perform at the GOP convention (when they look so much alike), a probable tour of a Ronnie James Dio hologram superimposed in front of the tribute bad, The Disciples of Dio and have the two presidential hopefuls we aren’t hopeful about, we have no choice but to choose.

I personally don’t trust either one to make the right decisions from economics to war. Neither of them seem to care about much more than their own personal agendas. Themselves, in a word. The “Me” campaign.

As I lay melting under the heat of a balmy August 70 degree Portland, Oregon sky, I’m brought to quote someone much less evil than the choices we are left with…

“What a world. What a world.” – Elphaba, wicked witch of the west